Two Steps Ahead




The movie BLACK reminds me of an incident that happened years ago. It is about a girl named Chaya.

The name, now sounds so symbolic. Shadow! That is what it meant. When naming her, little did her parents know that their darling daughter would see the world only as shadows; shadows light and dark.

Chaya was born normal. But at the age of twelve, she had a bout of fever that caused irreparable damage to some of her brain cells. As the fever came down, her eyesight too started diminishing. And in less than few weeks, she was 'visually impaired' However, she didn't see everything Black. Her world was grey; different shades of grey.

This life-altering event could have shattered anyone. But Chaya completed her schooling and joined a normal college. Yes, that is where I met her. We were in the same class. Every morning she would come wielding a white-and-red stick and tap the floor to find her way to the bench. I was amazed at her sense of direction.

She always came to the first floor and turned into the class as though she could see the door. She calmly found her way to the first bench on the left and sat there.

One day, the peon moved the benches and desks to sweep underneath. He then rearranged all of them. At 8.10 am, Chaya, as usual came tapping the floor. As she turned into the classroom, her calm composure suddenly turned into anxiety. It looked as if she had entered the class for the first time. She stood two feet away from the door and kept tapping the floor on her left. This continued for a minute. Chaya was a bundle of nerves. She called out "Ithe koni aheth ka?" meaning "Is anyone there?" I was observing this and so I replied, "Ho! Kay pahije tumhala?" (Yes! what do you want?)

"Majhe seat saapadat nahi. Jara madat karta ka?" (I am unable to find my seat. Can you help me?)

I went to her and took her two steps ahead where the bench had been placed. She tapped the bench and then settled down. The pulse that had been racing calmed down. She said, "Thank you."

I still cannot forget that moment. Her bench had been displaced only by two feet. She couldn't find it in the usual place. And that made her feel so helpless. A girl who could walk alone for 15 minutes and reach college suddenly felt like there was nothing ahead of her. She stood at that very point groping to find out if there was any ground.

I asked Chaya as to why she didn't try to walk two steps ahead. The bench was very much there. Her reply silenced me, "You have seen that there is ground ahead of you. But I cannot risk walking on an untrodden path. You can see the moved benches. But I couldn't feel it ten steps from the door. We have to take measured steps!"

Ma,






Mom today I thank you for all that you've done for me.



When I was an infant you stayed up all night to ensure that I slept in peace.

When I went to school, you packed tasty food in my tiffin box. On that day you had brought food for me during the lunch break. But I had forgotten an important book at home.I remember that you ran home to fetch it for me during lunch break.

When I was in college, one day I forgot to take my tiffin box. You ran after me and reached the railway station only to find me gone by the train.

When I felt lonely I got your shoulder to lean on. No sorrow was too trivial to share; from disqualification at the local essay contest to a job rejection. I always knew Mamma was there for me.

But it never occured to me to say 'Thank You Ma!'



Today I have come away from you. And now I realise how blessed I am to have a mother like you. My eyes blur as I write this. I am so grateful to you for making me the person I am.



But I am sorry, I could never do anything for you. I never lent a helping hand for all the years I was with you. I pestered you, misbehaved with you, scolded you and ill-treated you. I am sorry Ma, I could never be a good daughter!



Forgive me but don't ever forget me!





I am sorry!!!!

Forgiveness....

How easy is it to forgive someone especially when you know that the offender has committed a grave offence? Ask a rape victim if she can forgive her rapist simply because the court of law decreed him "mentally unsound" and awarded him a mild sentence.
Ask a mother if she can forgive her only son's killers who were too drunk to notice a young boy crossing the road.
Ask the descendents of persecuted Jews if they can forgive the proponents of anti-semitism of the last century.
Ask the fourth generation descendents of the Hiroshima/Nagasaki nuclear bomb victims if they can ever forgive the people behind their misery.

It is far easier said than done.

Time heals. Yes it does. But does it make it easier for the victims to forgive? What does forgiving entail?
It means that the victim quells the hatred in his/her mind towards his/her offender. The act of forgiveness probably allows the victim to move on in life. If the victim continues to kindle the flame of hatred towards the offender, he/she continues to relive the moment of misery every time the offender's thought crosses his/her mind. Forgiveness allows the victim to delink the past and continue to live.

After all, to forgive is divine, isn't it?